Saturday, December 10, 2005

Recently, a family friend of ours has gotten engaged. People from India are pretty conservative in thinking, and as far as the ones in America, it's especially true of the older generation. They goal of most these people is practically prescribed: study well, get a good job, make money, get married, have kids, and send them through the same process. The son of my parents' friends was older than 30, and had a nontraditional job and lifestyle (organic veg. farmer in VT). The first concern for his parents was the job and lifestyle. As of late, it has been his bachelorhood.

When he announced his engagement, it almost was a surprise. And it was good news, well, to most. One of his parents has not taken well to the fact that the bride (I can't imagine what it would've been like if the spouse-to-be were a groom) is... well... White. In particular, his mom would not be happy unless she was of the same culture and of the same caste. Such an insular attitude isn't too uncommon, perhaps, for 1st generation Asian immigrants. I suppose you could call it indirect racism or something, becuase it's there, but maybe not necessarily overt or intentional.

But then I started to think about racism in general. Or discrimination, or prejudice. I think they seem to breed negativity inherently. A hypothetical example, you'd never hear a Nazi say, "Ooh, congratulations for the Jewish girl, she's marrying that German guy. Now her life will be better b/c he's there. Good for him to spread Aryan values to the heathen Jews." Instead, it'd be, "*@#$ Jewish girl, stealing for herself a German guy. And stupid German guy, for marrying her." Maybe that isn't a perfect example, but anyways, in an us-vs.-them mindset, it's too easy to see the worst in things when different kinds of people interact.

5 comments:

Phillip said...

Re: racism inherently breeding negativity - I admit to being guilty of the "black people are good at basketball"-racism - and I think your point stands, because though it seems good to assume positive characteristics because of their race, I had both looked down upon myself for not being black - because of my race I could not be as good as basketball as this black guy - as well as looked down upon the black guy - attributing whatever bball skills he has to his race and not what one would typically think about like time, effort, training/discipline, intelligence, etc... not giving the guy as a person any credit.

Dan said...
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Dan said...

Re: I suppose you could call it indirect racism or something, becuase it's there, but maybe not necessarily overt or intentional.

Two Questions:

Is there a possibility that she is afraid she won't connect with the fiance's family?

Let's say she held this 'subtle racism' for the sake of preserving her culture. Is there any good in that intent?

Elango said...

For the first question, yeah, the guy's mom says that the girl won't fit in. In some ways, I feel like she is crying for herself in fear of the way that relatives and friends in India will react. (For them, part of a person's image is the image of their kids :-\ )

For the second question, I would've answered this much differently a few years ago than I would now. If it's just 'sublte racism' to preserve the culture, then I suppose there's not much good in the intent. If aspects of the culture are worth maintaining, then parents should focus more time on instilling that in their kids. That would make kids more willing to seek those same things out in others. Basing things on an all-else-is-worse mentality seems pretty flawed and less effective anyways.

On the other hand, what do you think of acts like the Japanese internment during World War II as an act of self-preservation? (It's not quit ethnic cleansing, but it sure was racism, albeit not subtle.)

Dan said...

I think the Japanese internment was prompted more by the hysteria generated by Pearl Harbor than legitimate reasons. It's similar to what is happening currently, when civil liberties have been hastily suspended for misguided reasons; e.g. the politically-motivated manipulation of people’s fears.